thats it i don't even know who my fuckin real friends are n/e more nicole goes out with chad so i have no one once again no one to say i love you or n/e thing no one to hug...i lost dylan and i still am not over that and now i lost chad..god today b4 nicole called me i was crying so hard and then i was crying when she was on the fone...i was going histaricle, im so alone..i jus some one is it that hard to ask..and the people who are there for me i can't stand, god all those nights iv'e spent waistin my time...and i believed him when he said i love you all those times..im KINDA glad gillian talked to me today cus i want to kill my self so bad and nicole doesn't realize what she's doing to me seriousely she mize go and take a knife and staff me in my stomach...god i needa go now i can't even see the screen n/e more cus im for ever crying
april 4,02
today was ok...gillian told me she heard someone say that im starting to change and have and attitude now and it feels like everyone is always either yellin at me, making fun of me, or geting a attitude with me and they do it cus they know i wont do n/e thing about it cus i guess im to nice to start fighting and i go crazy and like some times i cry jus lettin it out at night...god i don't know what to do i don't act like it hurts me when you look at me but in side im dying very slowly and it builds all up with all the hurt that boys do and negative coments that n/e one makes...e-mail me if you can help me out munchkin911@juno.com ok well bye......
june 3,o2
well today was ok...the only thing bad was when i had to see jenna on mark i was so mad because like everytime i see her she is always with a guy...b4 our bus driver got fired she was forever always on him and shit and she went on dates with him and what makes her really nasty is that she was ALL OVER this guy named paul and he's gay and i was like HE LIKES GUYS NOT GURLS and errr that jus makes me mad to top it off i don't know why she jus doesn't go find dylan and fuckin make out with him errr and my new word is erk now...hehe she ERKS me ok well im gonna go cus im listening to discovery channel: you and me baby ain't nothin but mamals so lets do it like they do it on the discovery channel... lol BYE
june 1,o2
sorry i havn't wrotin you in a l0o0ong time but iv'e been busy last night i got back from seeing enough w/ nicole and shannnon, i got back at 1:00 in the morning thats the lastest iv'e ever stayed at the mall and then i came home and went straight to sleep...well there is no more of chad and i, it's not like we ever went out im jus stayin were on a brake and i still like him and stuff but then at the same time i don't like him!!
:( but n/e ways, im not focuesed oh boys n/e more like im still focused on mark powers and dylan haro but like im not gonna like i dunno what im sayin im jus gonna lay back let corse takes it's place!!! ok well im out p.s. i think i've been toding good when i have conversaions with dylan
may 24,o2
today i went to skool and it was great like i got a picture of mark powers from mrs. summers and then i went to class and i only spent like a couple of minutes this attendence monitor came and gave me a pass at 1:00 and i left with nicole to go see "ENOUGH" i was the best movie it was so good..i can't wait ti'll it come outs on video
may 23, o2
well today sucked so bad i had cramps like a bi*ch it hurt so bad, and i was going off on the nurse person cus she was treatin me like i was shit and i was like no don't talk to me like that and i was going off, and i was crying all day cus my stomach hurt and then i told chad to get the fuck away from me and i told him i didn't mean it later but he still got all mad but he has to realize imma gurl and i go threw this shit! ok well thats about it
may 22, o2
today was cool nicole didn't come to skool and like there were sharings all day and on the last sharing we went to which was 7th period dylan was prefroming i was DYLAN!! and then everyone was sayin LOOK and mark powers sat behind me and i was going crazy and yeah...i went home and then like my door rings and my mom answers it and says what are you doing here and i see NICOLE and she rode her bike all the way from her house to my house i was so happy!! and then we went to sams club and then went to the liqour store and stuff and i hope she can spin the night! ok well bye
may 21,o2
today was good cus i got to tell mark powers i liked him and when i told him he smiled and blushed real hard i was like aww
but then i stayed after skool and then dylan rode the bus and it's like everytime i see him i fall in love everytime! i don't know what to do with me he is jus so wonderful in every way...and like i jus like the way he has that lil nerdish in him that makes him so cute and like i dunno i wish i could have him...and like i might not be the gurl that he is lookin for but he can put me into that kinda gurl he can change n/e thing he wants about me thats how much im willin to be with him!! ok well imma go ok well peaCe
may 2o, o2
wow today i talk to mark powers on the fone and i ALMOST DIED i was crazy he was like can you can you call me back around 9:00 cus im bout to go to the gym but feel free to call me i was like OK!!! well today went cool at first period i got to see dylan he still looked great as ever...i always wonder if i ever would have another chance with him i jus want him to open up to me cus that would make me act normal and stuff i jus want to be close to him!!! i jus want some one to alteast give a sign that he is sorta intrested in me!! ok well leaving now
may, 17.o2
omg today was the best day outa the week cus like yesterday i was really sad and i was tryin to find ways to kill my self cus i was goin crazy with out dylan i thought about puttin my self in a car and fall asleep with the car runnin cus i learned that kills you. And margarita jus turned on me and said to me "i know why dylan dumpt you know, because ashely is cuter than you" omg i started crying and then everyoen was yellin at her and she was like i was jus playin...then me and nicole got in ANOTHER fight over chad cus like she likes chad and so do i and like i mean he isn't really worth fightin over but like she swares like im going to cheat on him, he's asked me out 5 times now and i turned him down because i thought about her!!!...ok well skipping to today MARK POWERS (12th grader) had eye to eye contact with me for a long ass time i was going crazy and my friend shante asked him if i could have a picture of him (cus i didn't wana ask) and he said which one does she want...nakid, shirt off, or shirt on i was like OMG!! ALL OF THEM i was going crazy...ok wel talk to you later!
may 13, 02
well today my day started out good after skool adrian asked me out but i said no and then when i got on the bus tina was arguing with ngoc (9th grader) and then when the bus stoped to let us off then tina came behind ngoc and pushed her and then ngoc started fightin with her and TINA GOT BEAT UP!! haha thats what she gets fer always tryin to get in some ones face! n/e way then i get online and say hi to nicole and she is all quiet and then she sends me a convo she had with bradley And it was all talkin about how she hated me and wanted to kill me and how i don't like chad and jus shit like that then i said well if you don't wana be friends then...then i started crying cus thats so sad fer yer best friend to even think that about you and so like she kept sayin sorry and stuff then chad called and tried to make me feel better then he got mad at me cus he saw jason's arm around me walkin me to my bus but yeah...thats pretty much it ok well bye
may 8,o2
well nothin still going on sept jasmine and i jus did our scene and i think we got a A on it im not sure. im so tired of people askin me if i go out with chad i mean god LEAVE ME ALONE! i know he likes me a hole lot it jus bothers me when he keeps askin me out when like im still not over dylan at all completly and like today i was on the fone with chad and then austin (white boy austin) gradbs the fone away from him to talk to me and now i like austin again gosh like all in order i like DYLAN first then chad then austin then jeremy!!! im so stupid, but n/e ways i hope to god me and dylan can like get another chance cus like ti'll this day i go crazy when i see him! but n/e ways im bored so talk to you later! peaCe yo!
april 26,o2
nothin really happened today but yesterday jermey kissed me i don't know why but like it was rainging really hard and i was walkin into the band room and he put his hand on my head and kissed me! i dunno but i can't stop thinkin about it, i guess i liked it! but yeah then later i kept lookin at him and he was laughin and said i guess she liked the kiss lol...ok well im going to go do the cha cha slide so peaCE
april, 25, o2
well the reason i havn't wrote in you in a while is cus i been really sick and i didn't feel like gettin on the computer, i got a head ache, stuffy nose, soar throught, always sneezing, caughing and like i jus feel like SH!T and it's not fun, ok well im done so BYE
april, 2o, o2
today was really boring, chad gets on my nerves he told nicole he wants to be with me but he has to be some one he's not fer me to like him, IF HE FELT LIKE THAT WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME! gosh and then nicole was mad at me cus boys pay more attention to me then her and then i felt real bad, so basically she's sayin she doesn't want me around! and finally in the world some one knows how i feel about dylan, this boy is in my posistion likeing nicole and all she does is push him away and she does the same things dylan is doing, and she realized what she was doing and knew what i was going threw and she is gonna try to talk to dylan which i don't really want her to cus EVERYONE IN THE WORLD bothers him and i jus want them to leave him alone cus i know he doesn't like me more and more everyday when people come up and say "do you like kristen" god i dunno what to do, and i wish chad would make up who he likes me or nicole! god and she acts like no one likes her she has people! whatever im pissed now imma go!
arpil,19, 02
today was soooo fun ok i turned in my poem packet i read my poems to the class and they liked them, and mrs.orlo liked my dylan poems but n/e ways today at lunch i finally learned how to do the cha cha slide, and then i went to gillies after skool and then i stayed there longer then i usally do and kowan was at jerons and he kept feelin on me OMG he looks good, and then he left like a hour later, and rashaun, donte, and sherieda came with there cousin and he said come here (i don't know him) so i came over there and he was like lets take a walk and we were talkin and he was like you wana suck my dick i was like why me, there are other gurls over there, and he said well your the only one that look good, and looks nice and he kept askin and i was gettin pissed off cus i kept sayin no!! and then like that lasted 30 minutes, then rashuan and me went and talked and i sat on his lap and was holdin me, it was kinda nice :), but i went to gillies to call my mom to pick me up at 9:30 and then they left by the time we came back so we jus walked around and then i went home ok well bye!
april,18, o2
today was cool, when i was riding the bus home terrell sat next to me and squirted ketch up all over gillie and then he put some on my face and then licked it off and then he put some on my mouth but i spit it out the window, then nicole pissed me off cus she told me to shut the hell up i was so pissed so then i jus told her i have to go so now were not talkin to each other
april,17, o2
im starting to not like dylan a lil more everyday cus he is like by his gurlfriends side everyday and i guess you can call me jealouse cus he never did that with me, and do today i wanted to cry cus jenese was going through his back pack and went threw a place he didn't want her to go in and my picture was in there from when i gave it to him a long time ago and his some other stuff he took his back pack away and all the stuff came out including my picture and i gave him some of the stuff that came out and jenese say aww you have a picture of kristen in your back pack and she gave it back to him and he said "i don't want that" and she gave me that picture...i felt like crying, infact im crying rite now cus that is so mean. then i broke up with kevin for nicole today cus she told me she didn't wana go out with him and he told me he didn't wana go out with her and so i was like ok imma go dump him for you and she said ok whatever and then christina told me he's been cheatin on her n/e ways so i was like ok imma go tell him, so i went up to him and said nicole doesn't wana go out n/e more and he said ok! and then went on his buisness and then nicole got all mad, because i did it but she said i didn't care, then later when i got home from skool i told her that he cheated on her and thats why i did it cus at first i wasn't gonna do it but when i found that out i had to and now she isn't mad. but im still in tears about what dylan did ok well bye!
april, 16,02
me and nicole speant the night at chads friends house (jeremy) it was fun sept when nicole was going crazy and shit, but we watched 13 gohst and zoolander those movies are so good but like then skippin a lot of stuff (cus it was boring) and then austin came over the next morning i was so happy and he told me he liked me and stuff and me nicole austin chad jermey and T went over to chous lake and played on the base ball feild and nicole was gettin mad cus i cept complaing i wanted to go home because my dad wanted me home and then she jus started walkin off and no one went and got her and then when i walked off austin chased after me and chad was about to get me but austin already got me, but i think thats why nicole was gettin even more mad and nicole finally left when austin was being mean to her and then he was like don't worry about her and then when we were walkin back home he was holding me in his arms like a baby and he almost kissed me but i don't know what was stoppin him he told me he was too! but yeah then we got home and then i left with nicole and go to her house talked then i was tired so i went home, ok well byE
april, 15, o2
everyone is like DYLAN goes out with ASHELY im like "i know" i had another dream that he asked her out infront of mr.troubas room and i came outa the door and he said will you go out with me and she had to think about it and then she said ok and then he didn't see me there ti'll i walked infront of him and i was crying and i jus ran off, and he chased after me tryin to say sorry but then i jus fell on the ground and he sat next to me and said sorry and he didn't think i would find out and then i pulled out a gun and killed myself...:( heres somethin i thought i should show you."If you love a person, and they hurt you, then you never loved them at all. You loved who you thought they were" that sounds a hole lot of me and dylan like i realized he did me dirty in a lot of ways and i tried to look past that but it's still there in my face and it wont go away even thoe i still love him a lot but my love is just a image of what i want to look at not what it is. when my friends seen the qoute up there on my profile a lot of them were happy cus they thought i got over him but im not, thats jus how i feel. BYE
april 12, 02
i don't understand why doesn't dylan like me i actually sat and thought about that for a while i mean gurls will come and go in his life but i'll still be there lovin him and he is jus ignoring it when he probably knows this but doesn't really realizing! i had a dream that i was sleeping and he came in my room and kissed me on the cheek and i woke up and then b4 i could say n/e thing or do n/e thing he jus started makin out with me and then jus got on top of me and then he got beside of me and then we were talkin and he was like i couldn't believe how stupid i was to jus let you pass by when i finally noticed how much im loosing and he had his arm underneath my neck and then i went to sleep like that with my hand on his chest, it was so nice, i really wished that would happen well gotta go so peaCe
arpil,11, o2
i might not get to get on for a couple of days cus my mom and dad got in a fight and some how my dad ended up takin my stuff away (fone, cell fone, computer and t.v.) i was cryin cus they argued and my dad hit my mom and she left and i didn't eat all day so i starved and when i got to skool mrs. barone gave me something to eat and to top it off i find out dylan goes out with ashley that so much sucks i don't get my life these are the reasons why i wana kill my self, i wish they would jus get divorced it's so stupid to keep hurting there selves like this. since i didn't explain the hole fight if you wana know what happened e-mail me at munchkin911@juno.com but n/e ways imma get off and go TRY to forget about dylan even thoe i know it wont happen but it's worth the try, and another thing why the hell am i waistin my time so much with him when he doesn't even fuckin like me!!!!!!! god why!!!! well whatever i know i can't stop lovin him so imma jus leave him the fuck alone and forget about tryin to always bring up a subject to talk to him!!!BYE
april, 9,o2
yesterday was coo i went to my friend sabrinas house and went swimmin and this guy was stairing at us eeeek..well nothin really happened today sept i got a picture of dylan it's not that best but he still looks hott in it if you wana see it go to my page about me..i'll get another one and try to get one of me next to him, i swear imma take a grip a pictures of him lol but n/e ways gotta go so peacE
march, 7 ,02
my week was tiering already and it's not even over, i was riding nicoles bus home and i got pissed off at her cus she hit me with her ice pack because i saw chase and he waved to me and i started going crazy and it hurt and so then when she was gettin off at chad and ricks stop i was like what the hell are you doing and she was like going to rick and chads house and so i was like NO i don't wana go she was like well bye im going and i was like shit man, so i jus went and then chad pissed me off about somethin so i wasn't talkin to nicole or chad and then rick was walkin with me and talkin to me and then like we got to there house and then i was like how are we gettin home cus i am not walkin and then they were like don't worry will find you guys a ride and then i was still pissed at chad and he was tryin to say sorry i was like NOOOO leave me a lone and then he was tryin to shoot nicole with the bee bee gun and the paint ball machine and i was tryin to help her and we were screamin and going crazy so then his friends started comin over and omg this boy name austin looked sooooooooooooo fuckin good he looked like chase and he said i was hott and yeah, like he was talkin to me and then like it was gettin late and i was like ok i need to go home now and rick went and asked EVERYONE if they could give us a ride and ricks step sister was tryin to get us to spin the night and stuff and like we were tryin to think of a story to tell my mom and dad and nicoles mom and so she gave us a good plan we called our mom and dad and shit told them the plan and spent the night and then like later on the night me chads brother (danny) and his friend were playin trouble and then danny won and then he told us to come in his room and it was like about 1:00 and he was like do you guys wana go to chous lake and first i was like ok! but then i started sayin no and then they got mad cus i didn't wana get in trouble cus danny and his friend was all really drunk and if the police seen that then we woulda got in trouble so i stayed there while chad nicole and danny and his friend left and then like some one took my spot were i was gonna sleep cus i was gonna sleep in ricks water bed and someone took it so i had to end up sleeping with rick ok yeah then nicole and chad got back and was bragin how much fun they had and then yeah later on in the day chad got in trouble cus his room was hella dirty so we helped him clean it and then we jus chilled and then left
april, 3,o2
sorry i havn't wrote in a while nothin really has been going on thoe. tomorrow im going to nicoles house and then im comin home and then the next to (saturaday) going to sabrinas house to spin the night and then sunday im going to tashas house and going to the beach YaY! ok well im bored ok well peaCe
april, 1, o2
me nicole aaron and p-nut went to the mall and then nicole got pissed off at aaron about somethin and then jus walked off and never came back and then i was like you guys we have to go look for her so we went to mr.rags and she wasn't there then we went to dip n dots and the gurl said she saw a gurl with the same shirt on which was nicole and she didn't know where she went so then i was crying cus i couldn't find her for a hour and then i found her!! and then she started goin off on everyone then skippin some parts we got on the bus and this old guy started talkin to him self and pickin his nose and put this book for like a pad on his but in his pants and the he was all talk to us and stuff and then this guy got on the bus he looked good and he had this tail and he took off his hat and he had a moe hock me and nicole were laughin soooooo hard and then we got off the bus and went home
march, 31,o2
last night kenith called me sayin kristen can we please have fone sex cus i think yer really sexy and im horney as hell and yer the only gurl i know who will say no so PLEASE and then i was like uhh NO and he kept beggin and then i jus said i sure theres other gurls that will and then we started three way prank calling people it was so fun and when he was askin this guy to have fone sex i ruined it cus i started bustin up laughin, then today i jus got ready for easter lunch, damnit family is still here GO AWAY!! the only one i like is my cousin bobby and my two uncles paul and richard there the cool ones...well imma go and wait for dylan to come on cus im really bored ok well bye!
march 30, 02
i didn't go swimmin with jason today cus i got mad at him about somethin and he is jus pissin me off and like i tired of fuckin kayla liking the guys i like i mean thats one thing to like jason and then go out with him RIGHT AFTER I WENT OUT WITH HIM and then it's another to like dylan when he ass knows i love him..whatever people jus don't know how much of a fuck slut she is i mean people don't know her like i know her. well i got on the comp. talked to tasha and dylan and talked to tasha on the fone about the hole me lovin dylan and not even liken me back and the tasha and rick thing then i had to go cus i had to do somethin but yeah then my last night at 2 o'clock DIONTREYcalled me i havn't from him in a while but i don't know who posessed this boy to call me but he called me at 3 o'clock this morning and i didn't go to sleep ti'll hella late cus all these people decided to call me sometimes i wish dylan had chads personality cus chad likes me a lot and i wish dylan and him would trade places or dylan give me another chance even if he doesn't like me he can see if he likes me if we went out again cus i would do n/e thing he wanted shit lol :\ well bye
march, 29, o2
ok today i got back from vegas my dad got me two jlo posters there so pretty hehe and then yeah my mom and dad jus argued alot it was stupid and then i called nicole like everyday she sound so happy to hear me i liked that sooo much man, i only got to go swiming ONCE the hole time i was there ONCE and i speant 60$ on my bathen suit thats so stupid thas ok cus me and jason are gonna go swiming tomorrow! ok well n/e ways when i got home i got online and DYLAN was there YAY!! i was happy as hell my dad couldn't get me to shut the hell up about him, my dad was like why don't you jus call him and i was like i can't cus i don't have the big bear number with me and plus dylan doesn't like like me like that and he was like ohhh so that made me sad for a lil while and then i was like whatever, god i am like sprung off of him to the 3rd power lol well imma go and wait for nicole to call me or somethin ok well peaCe
march 26, o2
well today im supposed to be going to vegas but yeah im jus waiting, rite now im talking to dylan!! things are going cool im finally talkin to him with out not know what to say, im lovin it, the only thing still wrong is he doesn't like me, but maybe he will relize i care for him a hole lot and yeah ok well i'll write to you friday peaCe
march, 25, o2
ok yesterday i went to likeidas and spent the night and then woke up early then we jus layed around talkin then i came home cus i got hella bored and then i get on the comp, and then DYLAN IM's ME AND OMG I WAS GOING CRAZY but he isn't really talkin to me and i have noooooooo idea what ta say but ya ok let me calm down ok well imma go try to think of some things to say peaCE..
march 24, o2
today i woke up cus nicole was bouncing on the bed and i couldn't sleep and yeah and then we watched "it" that movie is scary then aaron called and told us to come over so i took a shower and then nicole and then we walked over there and then we went to mc.donalds and then walked to aarons and then we went in the back yard i helped rick start a fire then we watched python and nicole got all pissed at somethin and then wanted to leave so then i had to leave and she didn't talk to me the hole time we walked home (even thoe i didn't do n/e to her) i called my mom to pick me up, and tomorrow im supposed to be maybe going to the beach but if not imma go get my shirt that ive been wanting
march, 23,02
sorry i didn't write in this yesterday but yeah i went off on this gurl kayla cus like she knows i love dylan and she is gonna go sit there and flirt with him and try to go out with him thats so gay i didn't do that to her, like when chad asked me out i said no and i coulda said yes but i didn't i thought about her, and plus i don't like him like that n/e ways, but still, god and then i went off on khrysytn too cus whenever her and kayla get in a fight khrystyn comes to me and like im her lil back up plan....well n/e ways imma go peaCe
march, 22,02
chad asked me out but i turned him down 3 times cus i am not even tryin to think about n/e other guy sept DYLAN gosh i have a strong feelin we were gonna go back out cus all i have to do is prove i love him (WHICH I DUNNO HOW TO DO) it's hard talkin to him like i do my other friends because imma afraid imma say the wrong thing and screw everything up!! but imma jus talk to him tomorrow ok well peaCe
march, 21,o2
im so confused like i don't know how to express to dylan that i love him cus he said i don't even show it so he doesn't really believe it and stuff, but yeah, today i hung out with jason ta and stuff and i earned 5 bucks today beggin fer money it was fun lol...today i seen marcus i havn't talked to him in a long ass time but i was happy!!
march, 19,02
ok emily told me dylan says i don't act like i love him well omg dylan i love you so much i jus don't know how to show it some times cus i don't want you to think im weird or some freak or somethin, gosh only if you felt the same way, and to top it off jlo is comin out with more clothes and she is comin out with make up and fragrenc's gosh i am gonna be spendin too much money even thoe i barely wear make up!!
march 18,o2
today was so cool like today in drama dylan asked me if i spinned the night and the party and i was like yeahhhh and i was like why didn't you and he said he had to go to church, god i wish he woulda spint the night i was sooooo happy when he talked to me gosh, but i know he doesn't like me. then chad ran up hugged me but like he saw the cup a noodles in my hand and spilt them, :( i was so mad, but n/e ways im still savering that moments
march, 17, o2
ok this is how the party went me and nicole go there i saw dylan HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY HI he ignored me the hole night i mean he looked at me but that was it was like god, then going more into the night nicole got all mad cus me molly and roxy went to mc donalds and then i came back and everyone was mad, then they took nicole pants and threw them up on this high tree and they couldn't get it down but they got it. god i don't know what the fuck to do cus i don't like no one sept dylan and i hate roy cus all he wants is pleasure and i wont give it to him. god chad would not fuckin leave me the hell alone i have fuckin chaped lips from him and i was mad but it's all good i was pretending it was dylan so oh well....if dylan starts liken me again we could make out and i was so happy cus chad told nick i was a really good kisser n/e ways im tired and bored so im leavin
march, 16,o2
sorry i didn't write you yesterday after skool the skool bus droped us off at mission valley i went and got my bikini and then me and nicole walked to fashion and then we went to macy's tried on jlo clothes on and then we went to skin market and my mom called and said i have to pick you guys up rite now and i was like why and she was like cus nicole is in trouble so we went home and then her mom told her she couldn't go to p-nuts party so then i was sad and then i convince my mom to let me spin the night and then nicole called me today sayin she can go but can't spin the night well imma write you and tell you what happened at the part tomorrow
march, 14, 02
it was fun today sept were everyone was askin me do you go out with jason "god NO I DON'T OUT WITH HIM" well me and khrystyn arn't best friends no mores, cus her and kayla are now even thoe she doesn't admite it she is tu faceded if she says her and kayla are jus asociates but hang out, and khrystyn says she never sees me at lunch, bull shit she sees me all the fuckin time well n/e ways im tryin to get nicole to call her boy friend KEVIN to see if dylan talks about me
march, 13, o2
well yesterday me and nicole went riding our bikes for like a long ass time for like 4 hours and then we got home i took a shower and she was talkin to jason and then they were arguing and then i start talkin to him and he said how he loves me and he is breakin up with me cus im so nice and shit i was like god and then today i finally HATE boys sept dylan even thoe he took my heart out and stomped on it 3 billion times and killed me i still like him a lot. i was cryin today because mikki threw a hamburger at me and then adrian pored water on me and then sam threw a rock at my eye and then i found out who my really good friends are and it's anna and nicole and gillian cus they were really concerned and they took me to the nurse and the nurse was like go to yer class and then my day was jus stupid and THEN JASON IS BEING SOOOOOO GAY god i cryed when i got home yesterday cus of him too im fuckhin threw with boys god all they do is hurt you and thats all
march 11, 02
hey well i think nicole is mad at me AGAIN but like not n/e thing big thoe, she thinks im flirting with kevin BUT IM NOT i jus want them to go out cus i hate it when they walk by each other and don't say nothin, and things with me and jason are going to good, it's like he ignores me kinda now and jennifer is all ways with him he should like dump me and go with her, that would so fuckin suck...god im so confused with life.i don't even know whats going on with khyrstyn like it's jus diffrent and she acts like im jus another friend. and im always gettin mixed signals from boys and i feel stupid. god well imma go try to calm down or somethin AND TODAY I WAS HAVING A GOOD ASS DAY
march 9,02
oh gosh this week was sooooo fun ok friday me and nicole walked to fashion valley i saw marcus!! i tried on j.lo clothes then we got bored then walked to mission valley and walked around and then i saw chase (omg he was lookin soooo good) i talked to him and then nicole was like who was that and i said CHASE and she said omg thats him!!! lol and she was like yer so lucky and then we didn't leave ti'll about 9:?¿ and then we went to her house i speant the nite i woke up at like 7:00 and then she went back to sleep while i was up and watchin t.v. and bacially the hole day we were in bed and then we went to the taco shop later and then star bu cks and here i am now!! ok well bye
march, 7, 02
ok sorry i didn't rite to you the last couple days but it has been so much drama cus i like memeber how i was pissed at jason well me anna shannon and khrystyn and jonathan were walkin with me to lunch and and jason was with katherine and he like was tryin to talk to me but i was pullin away and i was about to start crying and then we started walkin and talkin about it while everyone was following us they turned around and i forgave him and he hugged me and kissed me and then nicole got really mad at me and started crying me and then me and jason stayed together and like skippin some time the next day me and nicole started talkin and me and her are friends again, me and jason kissed today it was cool we go out now!!! YaY!! me nicole, roy, kevin, p-nut, and shannon are gonna go to the movies tomorrow to see queen of the damned...well i got nothin else to say but I LOVE LIFE..peaCe yO!
march, 6, 02
today started out kinda cool i was real pissed at jason and everyone was finding out and sayin aww are you ok? and then katherine and emily came up to me and gave me a hug and told me it was ok and then jonathen gave me a hug for a long time and i was like GET OFF ME and then later at lunch i was walkin and jason stoped me and first i didn't wana talk to him but like im glad i listened cus i knew he was honest or whatever and then while we were walkin EVERYONE was following us and we walked some were else and he gave me hug and then we kissed and then nicole got mad and cried and she doesn't wana talk to me (sorry) ok well imma finish talkin to jason on the fone so PEACE!!!
march, 5, 02
well today was real fucked up day one me and nicole were supposed to go to chads and when we got there we only speant 30 seconds there!! and we walked home and it was like a adventure seriousely it took us 3 hours to get home...then me and nicole wanted to really find out whats up with jason and i found out! :-( he likes her WAY more than me and i didn't act like i cared when i was there but im lettin it all out now and I HATE BOYS NOW they lie and thats all they do, thats what dylan did thats what jason did and i bet you roy is doing it, god why me i didn't do n/e thing to n/e one (imma go now cus im crying) BYE!!
march, 4, 02
well today was ok! i wore my skirt and a tarzan shirt and jedon pulled it down in front of jason , nicole, likeida ,shannon and i felt like crying but then my best friend helped me and covered me and made sure everything was good it was likeida omg where would i be with out her :( well i am glad jason didn't laugh or n/e thing...gosh then i got reminded today dylan never liked me and i started crying in 7th period and im really tryin to get over it but it's hard, and then it's hard again cus i like jason and i wana do somethin with him but it's like his "fan club" will get mad well i don't care...i'll talk to ya later!! peaCe
march,3, 02
well this morning i talked to jason for a long time then took a shower and then went to the mall with sabrina and her boy friend, i was kinda mad cus i didn't really have n/e ones arm to hold on too but i guess it was ok, i kinda wanted jason to be there but i guess maybe if i bug him enough he'll go!! ok well i came home and started talkin to jason again
march, 3, 02
my dream was sooo scary last nite that i got a job at this car wash and mubashir (my indian friend that is absessed with me) was there gettin his car cleaned and he seen me and started chasen me and these three guys that were trpilets that looked like nelly tried to help me but then muby yelled somethin in his language and they backed off and muby finally caught up with me and then i turned into danielle van dam and i exspeierence what she went threw..but the worse thing is when i was runnin from muby my dad took me and like put me in the truck and jus desepeard and we were in the desert and then muby raped me and then killed me (i am still aware whats going on) and then took me to dehesa and then put me in the fire and i woke up crying...!!
march 1
AFTER OLIVE GARDEN.....
later after olive garden....my dad bought me this cute ass skirt and then JASON called me omg i was soo happy wow that boy looks good. lol well imma wait to see if he is gonna call me
hi well today was soooo fun like there were two fights today and gabby was gonna try to fight gillian (i would been there for her ;) ) and like me and nicole were with jason the hole time and he had his arm around my waist the hole time i felt so speacial when i was around him...but he likes nicole more than me :***( and khrystyn i guess is mad cus i don't pay enough attention to her as much but remember I LOVE YOU KHRYSTYN!!! today me and gillian got along soooo great it was like we were sisters i was loven it ok well i gotta get ready to go to the olive garden so Peace
february, 28, 02
sorry i did'nt rite to ya yesterday nothin happened thats why! ok well today somethin did! i have no i dea why gillian is gettin mad at me, AGAIN it's happenin it's like totally killin me, i hate it when she gets in these moods. I couldn't even stand it i had to leave and go home. i don't like to be ignored and thats ecsacly whats going on. well i don't know what to do and maybe you can help!! cus i need it bad cus i was basically crying cus this is always happening i feel like killin somethin rite now!! this is were the fuckin theropy is supposed to step in that im not gettin!!!!...well n/e ways i jus found out kyle has a gurl friend and roy is starting to be hella nice to me and the only person in the world that never gets mad at me is gonna come over! well bye
february 26,02
me, chad and nicole went to p-nuts house but he is still sick and so we went to S.D.S.U swimmin pool and i swam in my bra and shorts and chad swam in some boxers and nicole in her lil bikni, well i had fun it was cold but fun, everytime nicole wasn't around chad would be tryin to feel all up on me and stuff, then we went back to p-nuts and then jumped on the trampline then nicole was gettin pissed off at chad cus me and chad were in the play house tryin to talk but nicole interfeared but it's coo but yeah then we had to leave cus nicole got in her moods again!! thas all fer today so peaCe
february, 25, 02
today i went to skool and was bored and kayla is mad at khrystyn and like me and khrystyn i guess are best friends now YAY!!! but i don't wana mess up what her and kayla had but it seems like khrystyn doesn't even like her, today i kept seeing dylan with chantel i mean i know he likes her but does he have to follow her infront of me when he knows im like fuckin sprung off him. and now roy is mad at me cus i wont touch his dick, GOD guys are so stupid! well i need to go take a shower so peaCe
february, 24, 02
well today i went to khrystyns house it was really fun, there was like really hott guys there but n/e ways me and her are like sisters kinda like now but n/e ways i am tryin sooooo hard to get over dylan cus i know he doesn't like me what so ever so like i dunno why i even bother but yeah im tryin but it's not workin but im bored so bye
february 23, 2002
im waiting for khrystyn to call me so i can go to her house, i can't stop thinkin about dylan it's been like a damn month and im like liking him even more and more and i don't know whats wrong with me. I always try to think of something to say to him but like i think maybe he wont care and i am hopeing to god that i will have another chance threw these 4 years at skool. only if i could jus have one chance i would do n/e thing he practicly wanted. well n/e ways imma jus sit here and be bored and be sad and wait for khrystyn to tell me i can come over!!!
february,22,02
omg today it was soo fun me and nicole went to starbucks and then we went to p-nuts house and when we got there ryan got there and then we jus went and jumped on the trample lean and it was like really, really hot so me and nicole and p-nut went and played in the sprinklers and after we were done like we got cold cus of the wet clothes and then like I took my shirt half way and nicole was being scary at first but the i was like whatever and took it off, then nicole did and we went to her house to change cus like she was wearin a thong and stuff got like lied sooooo bad about everything to nicoles mom and my mom if you wana know e-mail me and ask me but like oh wow and then we went back to there house and we jumped on the trampleen in our bra and panties and then this hott boy came over and then like he was being scary and ryan pissed nicole off so we left
february, 21, 02
man i wana go to fuckin tharopy cus gillian jus told me that i have attitude problem and i don't know it's jus weird and now that im hanging out with khrystyn and i think like gillie is gettin mad cus i don't hang out with her as much and now she is starting to be mean and thats what brings my attitude out and it fuckin pissis me off and i think if i i could go to theropy then it would be all cool cus i would get my anger out. I think why she is mad cus she took a ride with only her and shannon and left me and ka'lon walkin in the hott sun and i gave her an attitude when we got back but i didn't really mean it like that it jus really hott and you woulda been mad too ...i don't mean to be like gettin mad or whatever like it's probably the weather er somethin cus this is like to much rite now GOD MY LIFE SUCKS..i feel like killin my self and to see what my life would be like :(
