well my week was hella fun, i went to the mall with nicole and she met this guy named lamonte he's cool and then i was complaining about chad to her so she mentioned one of lamontes friends (rob) he looks sooo fuckin good but he reminds me of a lot of chad he's so crazy, he's 20 though...thats the only bad thing!! but he is soo nice he gave me a hug and wow he smells too good i wanted to take him and rape him oh and he said i was cute too! wow and he is forever smiling when i look at him, he likes it when i blush at him..haha. I'm thinkin about takin a break with chad cus i went threw some shit with him and he doesnt really seem like he is willing to change yet so imma switch it on him and make him wait now, cus this is bull but wow i'll write you again when i hear more about rob!!
February 4th, 2oo3
well i almost thought my week was gonna be good sept this hole margarita and gillie thing..i jus can't wait to get out and i will be better again.. i wrote chad the most best thing i could...i mean christina loved it and nicole liked it a lot too!! but so i was all ready to give to him but then when i found out he went out with vanessa i cracked..and didn't think it was really gonna bother me but then when i went to the numbers out in p.e. i jus started crying cus i love him soo much and he jus took a knife and stabbed me!! it hurt so much i felt like i've been bleeding for months, i don't know if i can ever be with him again...i mean it wasn't even worth yellin at him, lookin at him or even eknowledging him cus what he did was way out of line, and he can't say he didn't know how my feelings were toward him but i hope he feels bad after he reads that NICE ASS LETTER I POURED MY SOUL OUT INTO!!!
January 29th, 03
well my weekend has been O.K. no one really knows what i'm going threw so when i explain this to you yer the only one that probably will understand cus yer a Diary, but no one understands what Chad and I have and it's soo weird but we love each other so much it's ugly, but he needed a break cus he doesn't wana hurt me cus i guess he doesn't do good in relation ships but he flirts with all these damn females infront of me and who wants to see that i mean fuck, and i got mad and so we talked about it yesterday and like he asked me to tell him the truth about how i really thought about this and i told him and he got mad and he hung up and like he doesn't even wana look or talk to me..and it sucks and today when Brian and i were talkin he said if you could go out with n/e one at this skool who would you go out with and i said you (brian) and Chad and he was like ooh i thought you guys went out and i said nope..but i like him but it's only a like were i'll never get him cus he got a gurl, but whatever. Me and Gillian were starting to get close and i was loving it soo much cus when me and gillie get together it's sooo much fun i love it and i guess it's all comin down cus nicole is back at skool and imma be with her but i dun know it's fun being with her and i miss it, today was a half day and when me, gillie, ka'lon and Candace were comin back from Shawns we wanted to take the short cut way and i went underneat this big fence with barely n/e room and candace got stuck cus they dropped the fence they were lifting for her and it was jus ToO FUNNY!! then we got her out, and went to jump another fence but Jeron came over and helped up and Micheal made me soo made and he said "Kristen put some clothes on" and Jeron said "Naw i like it" and when he lifted me up to put me over the fence i put my leg up and micheal was lookin between my legs and i jus bitched him out and yeah we left but b4 we left shawns me and Kalon went to Famart, Rite aid and Popeyes cus we got bored at shawns but it was fun, but i came home and slepts but thats it so peaCe.
January 16th, o3
ok this is basically how gay and stupid my life is, i got braces so there cute and everything but my mouth is gettin all cut up and i can barly talk, i can't laugh and i can't eat with out gettin hurt!! and i told my dad how i felt on sunday about him and i guess he is mad at me and he doesn't even look or talk to me, and it's killin me soo much and i can't stand it and Khrystyn told ryan i didn't like him n/e more and now he is all mad at me and i told nicole what happened and when khrsytyn called me i confronted her and she tried lying, and nicole started cusin her out and stuff it was jus crazy, then the only good thing that happened is was i don't have noo more drama with daniel cus we talked and were cool now but im finding out khrsytyn isn't as good a friend as i thought she was, she is always lying to me and she lied to me about daniel callin her but whatever, and im always having a head ache now and i know my lunch group gets mad at me when ever i jus go off with nicole but i can't help it, they never wana walk around with us my life isn't really happy rite now and there always happy or got a problem so whatever, well im leave so bye
January 9th, o2
today was boring and i fell in a bush
january 8th, o2
hey well im doing pretty good im jus chillin i fell in a bush today at lunch, cus i swung gillie into it but i wasn't gonna let her fall and then margarita pushed me but i let go of gillie cus i didn't want her to fall in and i fell and somethin went into my hand and it hurt ooh so bad and tim was trying to take it out but he said nothin was in there and i kept winning while they were tryning see what was in there and then rita took me to the nurse and then it was all better...brian cus yesterday he was like givin me the most attention ever and he kept flirting with me and he asked me if i wanted pictures of him and then i was doin somethin but my butt was faced his direction he was like look at that butt and i was laughin and he said do you have a crush on me and i said yes and he said do you love me and i said yes but it was in a playful way or whatever but n/e ways daniel was lookin at me all wrong today, i passed his lunch group and he looked at me like what the fuck? and i was like whatever and i turned my head and jus kept going...his bitch ass did me soo dirty! and he didn't even TRY to see where i was comin from but fuck it thas his loss cus i can give a FUCK cus he was mean to me n/e ways flirting with my fuckin friend...n/e ways im out..peaCe
December 22nd, o2
well from another gurls prospective she might think my life is tyte and why the hell im complaining but i cant stand it n/e more i need to get it out, i can't tell nicole cus she might think im braggin but i don't like so many guys likeing me i mean it's crazy!! now that roy seen me, he is like a stalker he wont stop callin and stuff and he likes me a lot and along with ryan, p-nut and rick, darren and some other people...wow i seriousely don't know what to do and i know daniel is pissed at me and frankly i don't even care cus why would he be cleaning his room the hole day, and like he coulda took a break to talk for a little while but nooo he wants to act like he isn't even mad but fuck it! omg well im out, people keep callin
december 22, o2
well sorry i havn't wrote in here for a while, my computer wasn't workin but n/e ways.. Daniel dumped me i was ready fight but i felt to weak i jus busted out cryin that hole end of the day it was soo crazy, Brian, David and Roxy were tryna help me and say it was ok but it wasn't ok cus i liked him too much, when i was talkin with Christina the day b4 that she asked me if i loved him and even thoe i havn't really known him for that long and i have no buisness sayin i love him but i always feel like sayin it but i end up stopping my self and jus sayin somethin else, but were talkin now...everytime i get the courage to ask him if were gonna go out again somethin else comes up or he has to go or something... but i think he still likes me, im not sure...my dad is lettin me get a tattoo i can't wait he said i can get one soon but i dun know when, i got 5 kisses friday rick kissed me on my cheek, david kissed me on my cheek and when i was cryin brian kissed me on my head then my cheek later and i think time kissed me, i wouldn't let no one kiss me on the lips thoe even after me and daniel stopped going out cus i still felt that we was something....i dun know but im bouts ta go, so peaCe
december 18th, o2
well today was iight it was Daniels birthday today i wanted to kiss him oh so bad but i am not that kinda gurl but n/e ways i love it when i be inside his jacket i feel all loved hehe today i went to see the first act of gypsy and david i had my head on davids shoulder and i kept feel like i was gonna fall asleep but he fell asleep like 8 times i was like wake up! haha it was cool thoe me and chad made up yesterday so were cool now and i thought he was gonna break my back today when he jumped on my back but i was suprised when i was carrying him cus i did it for a long time. i went and got my tree today!! i was happy i got to spend time with my daddy havn't done that in a while and omg he asked me if i still wanted a tatoo and i said yes and he said he has a friend that does them and i might be getin one soon..omg i have to think what imma get!! well im finnna go press my hur so peaCe
December 17, o2
hey well sorry havn't wrote in here in a while, today was sad at first cus i didn't get to see my baby but then i was really happy cus when i was cold he was holdin me in his jacket...today at p.e. i was real happy cus we finally got to run around the skool and i ran the hold way with tim with out stoppin then went and played doge ball and mr. Gorman came up behind me and picked me up and i wasl ike omg...put me down lol and then later i gave megan a picture and then i had to hear brian say wheres my picture so then when i gave one to him he wants to say no and then he was like nah jus playin and he took it then jesus's fone went off Three times in class and everyone was laughin and at lunch it rained hella hard and me and nicole were jus walkin around the hole circle of the sun jus gettin wet and excersize but then after skool i went walkin with nicole, donald and Calvin and we saw marcus, daniel and terrel up at there bus stop and they walked with us to the liqour store and marcus thought i was gonna buy him somethin and i was like yer funny and i gave it to donald and said here buy this and he said iight and i was like foreal? and he said yeah so then i started gettin soooo much shit and nicole got some food and donald payed for it all i was likE THANK YOU! and i was like yay then when we walked home i had to listen to nicole and Donald bitch at each other, god im talkin to p-nut and he sounds like he pissed at me, he jus asked me if i was goin out with Daniel and i said yeah and a grip of boys are pissed at me cus of that ahhhhhhhh i dun know what to do...cus i basically lied to them all and told them i didn't wana boy friend but i dun know i seen it comin when i said yes but thas it so im out, peaCe
December 13, o2
today went alright, i love being in Daniels arms, even thoe i hate to take him away from his friends thats one thing that i on my mind when im with him infront of his friends..i feel hella bad but yeah...today i was talkin to brian and this gurl in the 12th grade named Brittany (bri) was listening and stuff and he said it's sweet how he likes me but it's gross how it's so much apart and brittany came in and said there isn't n/e thing wrong with that..gurl i'll teach you how to stay on the low with yer relation ship and i was like haha alrighty, and then this 11th grader named alison was like askin me was my mom and dad cool with it and i was like dun know and she was like you should be careful if he is about to turn 18 cus you guys could get in trouble but i was like ok...but other then that my day was ok....rita, nicole and natalie i think is pissed cus they had no way home and my mom and i had to go some where after the mall and she said it was out of the way and there was noo room in the car, and so there pissed for that ..and i was thinkin don't be mad at me, it's not my fault i think they shoulda had a back up plan if i told them i don't know if i could give them a ride but im hella tired and im tired of waiting for Daniel so im leaving GOOD BYE!
December. 12. o2
well today was BIC haha im friends with christina, and with candace but my friends are like you need to go check kayla cus she be on him or whatever but i be like...well i can't really get mad cus if i see him on a gurl i don't get mad so i don't exspect him to get mad if a boy be on me but whatever...i almost thought i had to walk home today but i had a little adventure with donald and nicole it was fun, we went up to comunity gates and started pressin in numbers and callin people while they get all pissed and i was lookin for a black n mild on him cus he had one the other day and that shit smells good, but i know Big tyrell will have one!! haha wowzers, today at lunch i wanted to go over with daniel but it's hard to hang out with two diffrent crowds at once im like F it i'll jus try to see him in a minute but im starting to like him but, im thinkin about this hole sex thing and people are like makin me promise them that im not gonna do it and im like..ok? but n/e ways. omg..it was soo funny this boy took my seat today so David was like come here and then let me sit on his lap (Aaron says, but i sat on his lap) and he was like what you want for christmas and while he said it roxy pulled his leg hair and he was already holding my waist and grabbed it soooooo hard i was OMG STOP!!!!!!!! then Aaron made me get off him cus he said he doesn't wana get introuble if some one came in the room or whatever and then David got that stupid boy to get out my seat but it was funny and i kept hittin his adam apple, and he showed me this thing on my hand that stands for Miller for my last name and he had a M on his hand too that standed for Mendez but thas cool i got me a trade mark but imma go take a shower so im out PEACE
December 11th, o2
wow today i went threw A LOT of shit!!..i thought today was gonna be great cus i went out with Daniel finally but like all i got was shit there like why are you going out with some one waaay older and some people were like ooh kristen got her self a 12th grader but i was like whatever...margarita doens't like him cus of some shit he said to piss her off and i was like ok? so now i gotta tell him not to talk to her cus i don't feel like having MORE problems. i had a long talk with brian today...it was nice, he asked me if i liked Daniel i was yeah we go out and he was like makin these little jokes it was kinda funny then we talked and he told me he doens't wana see me get hurt cus im sweet and some stuff but that was pretty much it and then when nicole got mad at me cus of some shit she was sayin to me about leaving her for rick and nick and those stupid boys i was like..gurl i do not like them like that there jus friends, so today we were mad at each other then when we was arguing on the fone she was like i hope daniel rapes you and i was like omg..im bout to kill this bitch but we talked and i let her know how i felt but she calle me the first time to apologives for callin me a hoe but i wouldn't let her talk so thats how that started but were call and she didn't mean the hole thing about the rape, but what made me think is when she asked "kristen do you even know why he likes you" and i was like "hmm..i don't even know" cus it's like i never asked but yeah i ain't gonna come out and ask that cus thas ugly. but OH SO MANY PEOPLE are tellin me to watch out for him cus what does a 12th grader want with a 9th grader and people sayin how he jus wants to fuck and leave and i dont' wana believe it but so many people tell me it and i really don't wana go threw this if it's true..but what is weird is we go out and stuff but we havn't even talked on the fone yet!! i've never done n/e thing so spontanious EVER but i guess im jus gonna see how things work
December 6th, o2
well this week went a little better...i kept thinkin about daniel cus i wanted to go out some where with him but i was like oh well but i got my hair cut i felt special cus like when i came out of the shop alllll these guys were lookin at me but and over by my house these boys were whiselin i was like damn! but i was like i don't care cus some day imma get me a man i hope daniel but yeah some day hopefully i'll have him hehe..i showed my mom a picture of him and she thought he was a cuty i was like yuup...but imma be back later cus my grandma wants to see my hair that she didn't want me cuting..but i'll be back so peaCe...well my grandma loved it but she was still mad but oh well..i'll jus sit here and wait for my baby to get online while i listen to my eminem Cd
December 6th, o2
today was waAy better then yesterday, the morning didn't didn't go so well cus i was talkin to Yessica about it and i told her that candace said she wanted to do that shit with chad again and that made me hella sad and chad was all tryna talk to me today and i was lookin at him like..um wtf and candace called me back last night after i went off on her and she was crying and tellin me she doesn't wana loose me as a b/f and stuff and it sounded like chad was about to cry when he was on the fone...so i was GOOD now they see a little my way, but the good part was when i got to hold daniel but not for that long thoe :- / oh well but christina is mad at me or whatever cus daniel told her what i said but i guess there sooo much drama goin on rite now i don't know where all this shit is comin from..im jus in one of them and if you count christina two but i'll talk to her
December 5, o2
i am sooo lost and confused, i don't like going to boys cus i feel that im botherin them or they oviousely don't wana be around me if they don't come to me and stuff, and it seems that me and Daniel barely talk when we get around each other..i dun know, maybe it's jus that im starting to like him and then this hole thing with coreena, like she asked for my number today and i felt bad cus here she is trying to be my friend and here i am takin this boy that she likes away or atleast just liking but it's weird cus everytime i get around him i get hella happy it's weird i havn't been like that in a long time well there was Brian but he didn't count cus yeah it jus didn't...and i can't really talk to n/e one about it cus my best friend (nicole) thinks N/E ONE is too old for me and gillian thinks it's cute that we talk and i can't really get advice and margarita jus is there and i don't know...but i'll figure it all out jus watch..!!! well im out cus people are starting to IM me like Crazy so peaCe....................(later this night) omg i can't stop crying my best friend stabbed me right in my back she hurt me soo much and i am going back to not trusting boys either i hate chad, i hate him soo much i can't trust n/e one, i feel so alone, im going crazy how can she do this to me..how can she call my her best friend and hurt me in so many ways and never tell me...;-(
December 4, o2
hey well i jus woke up and stuff from havin a big ass head ache but do you ever get the feelin where you jus wana hold some one forever in there arms and never let them go well thas what i feel like doin with Daniel...you know how you can jus stair at some one for along time and determine if you like them or not well i know i do cus i get too happy hehe well yeah imma take a bath to get the rest of the paint off me
December 3, o2
well today was great again, Daniel and i are clickin soo well and he be callin me his baby gurl and boo i be like ahhhhhh going crazy it's cool cus i feel like im somes property but in a good way but i like it..i seen him free style today he was real good but i didn't get to see the hole..i'm lookin at my arm and i'm trying to think how imma get this paint off me..i took a bath twice, i guess it's got to jus wear off or whatever well im bout to go talk to my baby so we can talk some mores peaCe
December 2, o2
Well my day is BIC!! i was talkin to my gurl anna this morning and she was like gime yer s/n and number and i'll give it to Daniel cus i didn't want to at first cus i didn't think he wanted it but i gave it to her and she gave it to him and at lunch i got his number and i was sooo happy i was jumpin and stuff but i calmed down but n/e ways im talkin to him now and it's cooL! but yeah im bout ta go cus i wana talk to him so peaCe
November, 25, o2
i think im starting to not like ryan n/e more, he is like forever busy and even if i wanted or even if he wanted we couldn't have a little relationship thing going on cus he's busy but i dun know either he is usin that for an exscuse to make me go away or what but im jus gettin the vibe he's tired of me so im jus gonna lay off and let him talk to me when ever he wants to me cus this is hella seriouse, and he doesn't even know how much i like him and if he does he's takin it for granet or how ever you spell it but i guess...i really gotta think about what im doing, i can't keep lettin boys do this to me, i feel like jus bursting out with tears cus boy jus get me to that point where they play with me, i dun know it's late so im leaving, bye...
November 22, o2
today was hella fun, we had spirit week all week and after the seniors won i went to go ask brian if we could take a picture and he first stood next to me then grabbed me like he was gonna hump me so i was happy and then when the seniors played the juniors the juniors won i was happy but the thing that ruined my day was when i walked to the store and this bum was using the pay fone and he wisteled at me so i turned my head and kept walkin and then he followed me around my corner to my block and said you have pretty blue eyes and my heart jumped soo hard and then when i was on my street i was like 6 houses away and he came around the block and said "yer probably not 18 yet are you" and i said no and he was like yeah ok well bye i was like.... whatever im safe now so oh well but im out peaCe
november 17th, o2
well today im kinda pissed off cus i wanted to see ryan bad as hell this week, and like he told me he was gonna be busy but he ended up not being busy, i wana do it with him sooo omg bad but like i'm so afraid it's gonna happen and it's not gonna mean n/e thing at all to him, his life will jus go on...And i seriously don't think he wants a relationship but i dun know..im confused but im out, peaCe
Novemeber 13, o2
Hey well today was kinda boring...i was hella tired thoe, cus i was on the fone ti'll 11:00 somethin but i was on the fone at 1:00pm the day b4 that and i wasn't tired at all but i dun know.....i was talkin to ryan and i told him how i feel and all this other shit, but it still seems like he don't care im thinkin about not even tryin n/e more even thoe i love him sooo much, maybe i jus shouldn't try as hard as i do...i don't even know why the fuck im trippin n/e ways it's not like i gotta chance with him i don't know im lost i'll talk to you later peaCe
November, 1, o2
OMG you don't know how sorry i am for not writing in you so long i jus lost my pass word and know i jus rememebered but wow i got news ok welli jus went to a party last night and i was lookin forward to seein brian all night but i knew his gurl friend was gonna be there but it's all good it's not like imma do n/e thing with him but i was sittin on this little round chair kinda like a love seat but only for one person and so n/e ways when he came in he said hi to everyone and then took off his hat and put it on me. Then went out side but got a ice cube and put it down my shirt, then came and sat down with me and we was jus talkin and left and got me some pretzels then later it looked like i was leavin when i passes by him but he said "Where you going" and i was like no where and he picked me up and put me over his shoulder and was holdin me for a long time and everyone was smakin my ass and it didn't hurt ti'll my friend trisha socked me in my ass and i was like FUCK then i said let me down...so then later it was jus hang out time and i was dancin with my friend candace then later Brian started to leave and so he gave me a hug : D but omg dylan wanted to take a picture of me and gillian together so when we was ready and stuff the camera shot out water all on our faces i was like SHIT!......but then the next day i didn't go to skool and i was lookin threw my back pack for my baby bottle and i couldn't find it so i called emily's cell but this boy from the party picked up that i thought looked pretty good and said whos this and i said kristen and he was like oh were you the gurl in the red shirt i was like noo i was the gurl with the hat and pink jamie out fit (he's like 19) so then he was tellin me that emily wasn't there and she was prolly at her house and then it was jus quiet so i was like ok...well i gotta call her and he was like ok i'll talk to you later i thought in my head...How you don't even know my number but i was like oh well and then i called ryan and we talked for a hott one and then he had to go out to eat or somethin and he's callin me tonight so i'll jus talk to you later cus i gotta go iight peaCe much love and i'll talk to you tomorrow HOPEFULY!!!
